Because every hour of my life IS my life

I wonder. When I get a smart phone again will I take selfies? I took some before they were called selfies but not loads. if I were to take them nowadays what halcyon state of living would I depict? I wouldn't be basking before a backdrop of exotic faraway lands, or by the pool of a palatial villa. I love studios, I more or less live in them but they all look vaguely the same. That's where you'll catch me mostly - or on a stage and of late behind some decks.

The bottom line is that for now at the very least ,I cannot share with you modern life's spoils, the insta-glitz and glam on the 'gram, because I have chosen the self imposed exile from society that is the life of an ... Artist.

I don't do the 9-5 thing. I've been known to do a web contract, But I'm not really on it like that. Am I lazy? Those who know me you know better than that. I've done a lot of jobs: retail, research, admin, I've worked a the Job Centre. In civilian life I made the most money from websites - working for some big clients. So why not continue that? Most people hold down day jobs consigning creative pretensions to leisure time. If something transpires as a result, all good and well. If not you have security. It makes perfect sense. Except...

Except what I do and what I am are not so easily separated. I've had good salaries, saved up, paid rent months in advance, been able to make moves. However that can feel like facilitating yourself, while working in very corporate situations or retail that are the nadir of soul destruction. The monotony and the lack of fulfillment palpable always. People who should want to be there don't. How are people like me meant to cope? More 'creative' settings can have their own challenges: as an employee you're building up someone's dreams while putting yours on hold.

Alternatively you can take my route: Living by the skin of your teeth! Sometimes you're up. You do an advert - boom - you're good for 3-6 months, Then you're not. You're working like a mad professor on an album for ages, people working with you get fatigued, leave - then the radio starts playing you. But that's not the point.  The point is you're making your work and to do that you give it everything. Sure you gotta hustle here and there but you're not spending 8 hours a day of your life not living it. If you turn off your life for 8 hours a day - waking hours (which can go up to 12 with travel) and multiply that by 5 days a week then treally most of your life is not your own.

So broke as I am most of the time - and I can be stupid broke, dumb broke - bottom line it's still my life - up or down and every hour of it is mine.